I can't say that I can't wait for this design studio to be over with because I don't even know if I'll pass or not. No, this isn't me being over-dramatic. This is some real shit right here where my marks are amongst the lowest in the entire class, where it was never in before and this scares me.

Because what if it's not the lecturer's problem, but me??? Maybe I'm just not creative enough for this industry to go beyond studio 3, maybe I'm not putting enough thought into it, maybe I'm just not meant for Architecture

My stress management is not helped by my design lecturer who enjoys popping into Whatsapp asking if ~*anyone's in studio*~ every single fucking day INCLUDING WEEKENDS AND HOLIDAYS like oh my god sir LET US BE FREE LET US BE FREE LET US BE FREEE

I can't do anything outside of campus without this lingering weight on my back asking me DID YOU FINISH THIS WHY ARE YOU SO FREE WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO WEEK14WEEK14WEEK14 OTHER SUBJECTS SITE VISITS GROUP ASSIGNMENTS EDITING MUSEUM OH SHIT NO RESEARCH WORK WEEK14WEEK14WEEK14 

I'm not even safe at home anymore that's how bad it is.
I haven't had a good weekend in almost a month. Oh sure, I went to a concert. Whereby halfway through my lecturer decided to remind us (yet again) to get our site model done by Tuesday and to submit the sectional drawing by Monday (quality work expected!)

Oh and just ten minutes ago we get a message from our studiomate saying "we can start the building model now", which basically means "get it done by Tuesday too"

I CAN'T FUNCTION UNDER THIS UNCERTAINTY.
WHY THE FUCK CAN'T HE MAKE UP HIS MIND ON A FLOW AND JUST FUCKING LET US KNOW BEFORE WE GO HOME WHY THE FUCK CAN'T HE DO THAT

We're not even safe on Facebook where he's active as well.

I FEEL SO CONSTRICTED BY HIS PREDETERMINED SCHEDULE THAT I'M NOT FULLY AWARE OF YET.

But with all things holy and good please let me pass, please let me graduate with my studiomates JUST LET ME OUT OF THIS DAMN COURSE.