CONTEXT:

It was 4pm, I was at client's office with my teammate and bosses. The consultant walks in, the bosses get a text and tells us they have to go back immediately. I get 50% curious but mostly annoyed. 

10 minutes later, my other colleague at site office texts me saying "shit the office boy tested positive we're doomed"

2 minutes later, client swings in and says "uh...I think this has to be postponed. I just got informed there's a positive case in site"

An hour later we were all sent to Prince Court to get ourselves tested. Thus my 2 hour long panic begins -

where do I go?? Do I go home?? my parents are old?? 

My mother rationalized and says if I am positive, I would've been positive before this day and I should just go home - a rationale I ignored cos I'm dumb.

My colleague (S) instead offers me a room to stay for the night while we wait for our results, which I take cos  my head was still hot from the hysteria.

My results came out negative the next day @ 4pm. I thank my colleague and go home relieved - we're saved! My parents aren't gonna die in Sungai Buloh! 

Went home and took a full body shower, before sitting down for dinner discussing the day's events.

8pm: S calls, crying, and tells me she's tested positive.

AND SO:

The ensuing panic of preparing the front room for me to stay in, while I whimper in a corner, confirming the world truly cannot let me rest without having some sort of reason to be anxious.

I spend the next few days micro-analyzing my interaction with her in that one day. I didn't really spend a lot of time with her prior due to personal reasons, so it could only be:

a) the one lunch (since literally almost two months) that same day with our ex-subcon, or 

b) the juice she made and insisted I drink (I really, really don't quite enjoy juice like this haha)

The crippling anxiety that I could've infected my family too through dinner renders me useless and I lose my appetite for two days. I can't lie down or do anything without the pang of paranoia slapping me across the face - my chest hurts, my throat itches, my body feels hot.

I open instagram and a lot of the friends I follow are out, having good food. I look out my window and the sun is setting. It hits me that life moves on, whether I die or not. I realize that even if I die today, the world truly isn't that affected - the sun still rises, the clouds still move, people still go to work.

I open Youtube/Netflix to watch shows and I am nostalgic over safer times, when we could touch stuff outside and not get paranoid over being infected by a disease (realistically the risk is still there but not as high).

Spammed multiple friend groups (or to anybody who would listen and not judge) with anxiety stickers praying I test negative. I received mostly lukewarm responses of "it'll be okays". Verinia stopped replying at one point cos she got tired of it hahahaha (what kind of friend....)

Cheryl was more empathetic cos she freaks out over shit like this too like me haha *cries*

AFTERMATH:

I tested negative today!

I don't have a fever!

My throat still itches but it's okay! I'm negative!

Suddenly, covid seems like lightyears away from us! I feel immune! I can fly!

Okay let's continue on. I have emails to reply and work starts next week.