I'm in an agreeable mood today. The mother is sick so we're all home bound today! She'd probably wake up later and insist we go get that stupid drink of the devil's pee from that herbal place

Anyway
Here marks the second-ish (?) month of my braces and so far, it's made a gap between my front teeth cos there's a hole to fill
Every time I sense ulcers, I drink lots of water in panic
When I got my wires tightened, it wasn't the horrible sensation my friends went through. Sometimes I think maybe cos my dentist is taking things slow and everyone wants their braces to come off within a year so their dentist makes them extra tight so it's faster


Now I'm bored
Sometimes I wish I was a bit cooler
And the LRT is just outside my doorstep so everything is easier

I also feel very sorry for all my Mutiara friends, because I'm a horrible person who can't be bothered to take the bus, even if it means taking the bus to meet some very cool people
Y'all cooooooool

So I'm still alive and well and functioning (somewhat)


I'm only blogging now to make myself feel better about updating this thing even though I basically spam everyone who ever reads my blog anyway with random updates of my life
BUT HERE
I can have pure guiltless rants about how much I'm obsessed with Sprinkleofglitter's vlogs with Jack Howard

While Jack (of Jacksgap) is having an identity crisis, Dan is assuming the couch position, I resorted to watching other British Youtubers to quench my thirst for an accent.


THEY'RE SO CUTE AJFKSNDVIJKWNVUJGIHNRAG


On to other notes! I had an epiphany last night that I'm only nice out of guilt.
Sure it feels good to do something nice to people but MOST OF THE TIME, I'm only nice to you because I feel bad if I don't. I don't know whether or not it's a good thing, but at least my guilt conscience is in the right place hahahahaaaaaaaaa

I'm also brushing up on my conversational English now because omg I have spoken minimal English last semester (thank GOD for bananas) and OK it's not all that bad cos now my conversational Chinese isn't so cacat anymore but the other day I was out with Verinia and I found myself speaking more smoothly in Chinese wtf this is a problem and I will rectify it.

Smooth goodbyes aren't my thing so enjoy a gif file I found online:


Dan is my spirit animal. I don't daydream about being married to him because I don't think I can spend the rest of my life with someone who's too alike. I'd prefer to observe from afar and pick up on his vocabulary and style of speech because it's amazing.

Amazingphil.

*bad puns are life*

Sometimes I feel like I do too much on my own
In these moments, I really want to just disappear and see if people can survive on their own
And then, I think maybe I'm being too conceited

But why is it that almost every time I do something, I'm alone?
Why is it that other people can get help without even asking?
Is it because people assume that I can,
or do people just not like to help me?

And after I finish doing something, I hardly ever get a simple thank you
I don't need lavish ceremonial bouts of thankfulness,
but does it hurt to say thank you?!
Why is it that some people only feel grateful for the "cute ones"
Am I ugly?! Is that it?!
Is that why I have to beg for people to notice?

And sometimes,
sometimes, when I help people do something,
outsiders would either think someone else did it
or I did something horribly wrong

I'm just 19.
I'm still learning.
At least I want to learn.
At least I took the initiative.
Cut me some slack.

It's not like I purposely go out and ask for trouble,
but can you, even if I'm wrong, say it nicely?

It's a sad world,
at least for now.