I HAVE NOT AND AM NOT A PSYCHOLOGY STUDENT NOR AM I A TRAINED PSYCHOLOGIST. All I have relating to this matter is being a very confused bystander. DON'T COME @ ME IT'S JUST MY OPINION

In light of Jonghyun and Chester's recent suicides, depression has been really getting a limelight for being a very serious mental disorder and how it drives people into killing themselves to alleviate themselves from the pain. And OK I understand this. In a way to say that I understand the words you are saying but I don't really understand the meaning behind it. I'm speaking from a standpoint of somebody who probably has a very low EQ.

It's hard to sympathize with the depressed for me simply because I don't understand the kind of pain they're apparently in. It's probably because I've seen way too many over dramatic people (am I allowed to say this? Or is it politically incorrect like 10000000 other things in 2017) on Facebook chronicling how they have no friends, or nobody loves them, or they're soo(OOOOOOOO) lonely. And these same people claim to be depressed themselves.

THIS IS WHERE I BECOME EXTREMELY CONFUSED AND CONSEQUENTLY I AM ALSO VERY CAUTIOUS ABOUT WHAT I AM GOING TO SAY. But I'm gonna say it anyway cos it's my blog here.

What's depression? What and where is the line between depression and just feeling sad? Do people know how to distinguish between the two? Are the people who claim to be depressed REALLY depressed, or are they just ignorant and over-dramatizing their problems?

Some people may tell me that you should sympathize with people who are sad anyway, but I find it difficult to do that when most people's problems are just so....solvable?? If it's not relationship problems, it's familial conflicts or like, you got yelled at by your boss or something. I may tell you "awhh, don't feel sad" (which I do very very sparingly, and only when I truly do not think you can handle what I really want to tell you), BUT I REALLY JUST WANT TO TELL YOU TO GET OVER IT.

I understand most people when they rant or tell you about their problems, they're really just looking for a comforting shoulder to cry on. But I'm not the freaking fairy godmother, I can't bippity boppity boo your problems away! You may feel better for like 10 minutes, BUT THE PROBLEM IS STILL THERE YOU HAVE TO FACE IT ANYWAY

I digress from the point of my blog post.
Anyway, a lot of people who have these conflicts in their lives may also have depression. How am I, a curious but very very ignorant bystander, supposed to deal with it? I don't want to be the person who indirectly drives you to your grave!

People often focus on the person who committed suicide (justifiably so, as they're not around anymore to feel unsorry for) but there's not enough sympathy on the people who know of the problem, but couldn't do anything to stop it.

I mean, in Nine's post about Jonghyun, he alleged that they were aware of his problem. They tried to talk him out of it and it only worked to delay the final event. How would they feel? How is a person who doesn't know anything about depression, has never been depressed (and also have a very low EQ) supposed to deal with their loved ones being depressed (or allegedly so)? We're in the mercy of your mood and medication, and the only thing we can do is walk on eggshells around you or like, idk, make a cup of hot chocolate for you (does it even help???? For the depressed I mean.) or even tell you we love you every day and give positive encouragement. How are these people supposed to feel when the person they love tries to kill themselves and they've done everything they can to help and stop it from happening?

I hesitantly jump on the bandwagon and feel sorry for the deceased just so people won't come up my ass with "DEPRESSION IS SERIOUS" or "MENTAL DISORDERS KILL"

I KNOW, OKAY, I KNOW. I'm not saying that I'm disregarding mental disorders entirely, but how does one truly identify whether or not somebody is truly depressed? I'm not the type to feel sympathy for petty problems (because it does nothing but spoil people into becoming even more dramatic over small issues because nobody ever told them that it doesn't really matter), how do I know when to be serious about it?

I've read and watched videos about depression and the experiences of somebody who's recovering from depression. It's (apparently) a feeling of uselessness and loneliness, and the world wouldn't suffer without you existence; it's something you can't easily get rid of. And okay, I understand this feeling of helplessness, but what I don't understand is how some people can "get out of it" and some people can't.

Is it the problem with the psychiatrist you're seeing? Is it the environment you're in? Or are you really just the only problem?

Maybe I need to feel more empathy for people instead of using my (again, alleged) low EQ as an excuse for being an asshole. And maybe people who feel sad and depressed need to know, that as harsh as it may sound, the only way to "get out of it" is to get over yourself.

Okay, I know depression cannot be controlled easily (I am absolutely not saying it can't be controlled at all, because the same people who even coin the term depression also believe that it is a treatable disorder, and therefore it means there is a cure. And since it's a mental disorder, it means the only way to cure it is to change the way you think, either consciously or subconsciously) and it comes very suddenly no matter what you do. But I do not think I can forgive somebody who lets the darkness consume them. I can feel sorry that it happened, I can feel sad that you have passed on. but I can absolutely not forgive you for letting it overcome you.

When you're feeling sad or depressed, you tend to only tune into the things you want to hear. But sometimes, the things you want to hear are not the things you need to hear. That's my two cents on the matter.