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Cereal with Class

I read other people's blogs and I feel shallow, maybe a little too shallow for my own good, that people talk about their feelings and I'm just settled in my sofa crease watching a bunch of people do things that don't really matter in a long run

Sometimes I feel like maybe I feel too much, and then I hear what other people say and I see what other people post, and I realize that maybe I don't feel enough

Yesterday we saw my cousin and her baby in the supermarket, and my mom made a little offhand remark about how I'm the aunt who feels nothing, and I just want to scream that I do, I do feel, and my feelings are showcased on my face anyway so is there really a point in saying it out loud

Once someone in class asked, "E zhen has feelings?" and at that moment all I wanted to do was throw something at his face, just enough that the person feels something, and maybe just enough that he falls flat on the ground and doesn't wake up in five hours.

Because no matter how little people talk about it, everybody has feelings.
And everybody has a different way of dealing with them. Some people get pissed drunk, some people cry, I just wallow in my self-made ball of stress for an hour, or until it stops attacking me

I realize I have a violent way of dealing with anger, but with these over-sized fists that are connected to hardly any muscle mass, I'm not very dangerous, but god-damn I want to hurt something. I want to sucker punch people so hard they crack their skulls, I want to be able to pelt broken pieces of glass into their eyes, and plunge a cork-screw through the base of their jaw until it goes through their mouth. I want to break open skulls and pour acid over their brains. I want to rip open their organs one by one. I want to burn what they love most and watch them suffer without it as they go on with life, and maybe end their own on their own will.

So as you can see,
maybe I feel too much that the anger swallows my mind whole.

And maybe in five years time I'll regret this post lol
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Sometimes I wonder if my college friends read my blog lol I know some do or did anyway, BUT DO YOU STILL?? Cos things are kinda awkward with some, probably because I ranted out loud again lol I never truly know how I offend people sometimes I just know I did because they suddenly stop talking and smiling at me haha you win some you lose some I guess

Which comes down to this
I don't think I'm that much of an angry person anymore. Like, some college friends think I have a bitchy temper or whatever but lol you've never met me before that and I was wayyyy worse then!

/pats back

Good job ezhen good job!
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Went for my first CF event yesterday with Genie to meet Jelly cos she opened a booth!

So proud ;__; and it was really great to see them again my beebees 

CF was so crowded oh my goodness and it's a good thing we got early bird tickets cos the ticket queue was horrific. The early bird queue was pretty horrible too but at least we already had tickets and didn't have to go through the hassle of waiting for people struggling with change 


If you look properly the green dude is wearing a cape made of lettuce/cabbage and he's holding a fork #thingsyounoticewhenyoureboredinline

Things were OK in the beginning, we could walk and not get elbowed, hit, stepped on (breathe)
then 10.30 swinged by and omgwhoareallthesepeoplei'msotiredargh

I also met a Dan and Phil fan ;__; it's so good to see people out there who like the same things 

 My CF loot:




Show some love to Jienli! She's shy and she gives bad directions but she loves art and if you like gory surreal avant garde stuff then she's perfect4u!

The blue one isn't by her it's by this other artist who goes by the alias Rociel. She's pretty amazebeans too 

We bailed after three hours because the crowd was thickening and we were getting old and tired
but not bad!

See you guys again in another two years (maybe) 
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*reads friends' blogs*

My life is stale and boring haha nothing happens except me complaining and offending 80% of the studio's population.
Have been obsessing over BTS for a little over a month now so as you can see this contributes further to the pace (what pace) of my life
The only exciting thing to happen to me so far is probably...
nope

I'm going to die a boring person, alone
BUT NOT SAD.
BECAUSE THIS LIFE OF MINE
IS ONE THAT I CHOSE TO LIVE.


I'm too lazy to move.


After almost 2 years of using the "I'm busy" excuse to mask my laziness I'm finally going to meet Genie and Jelly!


Yay

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I'm coming back to renew my passport, will return back two days later
Okay
Do you think I'll be able to get it back on that day itself?
If you go in the morning you will get it for sure. If you go in the afternoon you'll get it the next day
Oh....are you sure I'll get it back on the day itself? 
-_- Yes. Or you can go back to Pahang to renew it there, the queue isn't as long. KL is always crowded
Oh. Are you sure?
(Godammit) If you're so insecure you can go Google yourself.
(one day later at 6pm)
I just went to the immigration office. They said I have to come back tomorrow. Malaysia boleh.

Jesus Christ don't blame the government when they can only issue a limited amount of passports a day. Dah kata if you go in the morning you can get it what. Why so ganjeong!? YOU HAVE AN ENTIRE DAY TO DO IT DAMN IT.


It's like complaining that you got bitten when we told you swimming with sharks is dangerous no matter how well-trained they are.
"The website said it's safe!"

-_- 
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excuse me while I spazz
HER VOICE IS SO NAIS
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Am I prettier or is Jun Ji Hyun prettier?
...
Why are you hesitating?
I was thinking
You were thinking? Then answer me now 
JJH's not my style 
Then between two of us, who's prettier?
You're prettier
I'm prettier? Should we ask a stranger who's prettier then??
Okay
Fine!

Of course JJH's prettier.
._. people tend to have different preferences; what's your favourite colour?
Red.
Yeah and I like blue. People have different preferences!
We're not talking about colours is it me or JJH??
JJH is red and you're blue. And I like blue.
But most people say JJH is prettier
Then should I date JJH?
No.
Then??

(and just like that, we all fell in love with Peniel.)








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I don't know why but I suddenly thought of Eswaren (or is it Eswaran lol I don't know I can't remember)
Does anyone remember him? The sad transfer who got extensively bullied and treated like the plague by all social peer groups?

OK so he was pretty annoying and quite syok sendiri but some people took it too far sometimes lol
Like the time they took his bag when he wasn't in class yet and stamped on it one by one and laughing cos it's ~*funny*~

And the time they threw his pencil case out of the window (and ok our classroom was on the first floor but still) for some stupid reason can't remember

I feel bad that no one stood up for him, because he was so heavily bullied that it didn't really make sense anymore, and people bullied him just for the sake of bullying because he wasn't exactly Mr Popularity lol

they bullied him even more after he finally talked to the disciplinarian (whose name may or may not rhyme with Yeah Oh Shit. I may or may not despise this person who may or may not be a woman and who may or may not still have a husband because she was definitely a piece of shit with a shitty temper and basically no reasoning skills but I will not name her here because this is the charm of anonymity)

I remember his first day of school, and he answered all the questions with such enthusiasm that cannot be contained in his five foot frame
Obviously that didn't earn him any brownie points. It is also unfortunate -because puberty- that people in form 1 and 2 have not fully developed their rationale, and reject any person that doesn't follow the norm god I hated those days but let's not get into that now

NO I MUST RANT.
I REMEMBER WHEN SIN WI TOLD ME THAT PEOPLE DIDN'T LIKE ME PARTIALLY COS MY MIND WAS DIRTY


THOSE EXACT SAME PEOPLE ARE JUST AS DIRTY, AND IF NOT EVEN DIRTIER THAN I AM NOW.
THIS IS THE PAIN OF BEING 13~14. THE PAIN OF BEING DISLIKED JUST BECAUSE YOU SAY THINGS STRAIGHTFORWARDLY AND PEOPLE JUST START NOT LIKING YOU BECAUSE YOU POINT OUT THINGS THEY PROBABLY DIDN'T NOTICE.
AND OKAY I CROSSED THE LINE SOMETIMES BUT OH MY FREAKING GOD THEY REACTED EVEN WORSE OKAY I FEEL SO RELIEVED I GOT MYSELF OUT OF THAT SHIT STORM I HAD ACTUALLY CONSIDERED FRIENDSHIP.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY ACTUALLY LIKED BEING IN EACH OTHER'S PRESENCE CONSIDERING THE AMOUNT OF BACKSTABBING THEY DO TO EACH OTHER ANYWAY. I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY SUPPORTED EACH OTHER IN ACTIVITIES THAT BORDERLINE BULLYING FOR LAUGHS.

THEY'RE STILL FRIENDS AND THEY STILL HAVE THE SAME MENTALITY
BUT THANK THE HOLY HEAVENS AND SUPERNATURAL FORCES THAT I HAVE NEW FRIENDS WHO ACTUALLY TREAT EACH OTHER WITH THE RESPECT THAT NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS DESERVED, AND DO NOT RESORT TO BULLYING JUST TO GET SOMEONE OUT OF THEIR FUCKING CLIQUEY PEER GROUP.

GOOD LUCK WITH LIFE YOU ASSHOLES, BECAUSE I WILL NEVER GET OVER IT. AND IT PROBABLY DOESN'T MATTER TO YOU AS MUCH NOW BUT OH MY GOD I HATED THOSE DAYS.

Ok I'm fine now, but not my grammar apparently. Being angry does that. Excuse my language

Back to Eswaran (Eswaren, IDK OK.)
Props to him for staying so cheerful all throughout his secondary school career (I refuse to call secondary school "high school") because I thought he would've become a serial killer and killed all the assholes who bullied him in the past, or commit suicide because he had no friends, and from what I've heard, a dysfunctional family.
He even got friends towards the end! And people stopped bullying him because as we age we all blossom into more even-tempered individuals who prefer to avoid the cause rather than trying to eliminate it
And also because a lot of people started focusing their energy on performances lol the hallyu wave brought wonders to school. People stopped starting shit in school because they were too busy dancing

K-pop is good for something, after all. And no matter how much I dislike BIGBANG's new take on hip-hop, they made everyone happier in some way. Or at least, majority of society anyway.

I can't conclude so yeah rant off
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Acknowledgement..acknowledged Genie 
Mama knows best ✌

Finally went to Ticklish Ribs & 'Wiches place at Seapark. It's next to Maybank and identifiable with pig-related decor, puns and food-related memes.

I've tried their famous ribs and yeah they're good; literally slides off the bone
The only thing I didn't like was the seating omg so packed it's so stressful



But the decor is nice. It's been done up good for a place as small as it is. The website is really enjoyable as well (no ugly fonts hallelujah) 

I'm a bad reviewer sorry (not really) but if I were to be truthfully honest all the time and only ate what was truly satisfying to my palate I will be knee deep in debt. 

***

I still don't have Autocad installed why doesn't it work babi *flip table*
*explains to guys*
*tech jargon*
*kthxbye*


not in the best of moods now cos Internet is being a bitch LOAD SO SLOW
-_____________- 
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It irks me whenever someone mentions my cousin's kid
Because he's the firstborn and also my aunt's first grandchild and also the fact that he's a boy he gets showered with love and I guess that's good for a baby's development but don't people think they're letting it get out of hand
The little bugger can't handle the heat and can only be contained in air conditioned environments; IS NO ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THIS!?!?! YOU CAN'T KEEP THIS HABIT UP FOREVER
And you can't say he'll grow out of it BECAUSE IT'S HIS FORMATIVE YEARS HE WILL GET USED TO IT AND IT'LL BE HARD TO GET OUT OF IT.


I also have a niece who's (deceptively) charming so everyone loves her even though according to tradition, she should've been ignored by now because there's actually someone younger than her so according to the whole baby-aunt-cooing hierarchy she should be left in the dust
but because she's so bloody charming and she's all smiles people love her and subsequently let her get her own way all the time
so much so that she stamps her feet and whines whenever she doesn't get her own way
and people think it's cute.


SHE'S NOT EVEN THE PRETTIEST.
Because to be blunt the one who looks the best will be showered with the love probably why I don't get any HAHAH 
OK so I'm not the favourite cos I don't generally smile that much and I criticize everything they do BUT HOW CAN I NOT!?
On my birthday in Taiwan I was already quite aggravated with my aunt's skills of direction and lack of communication AND IT WAS RAINING QUITE HEAVILY.
I was already quite calmed down during dinner until they brought the cake out and it turned out all mushed because
my aunt
was swinging
the box
and thought it will be OK
what
I'm not pissed that my birthday cake was basically ruined
I was pissed at the fact that YOU WOULD THINK SWINGING A BOX AROUND WILL ENSURE THE CAKE WOULDN'T MOVE AS WELL WTF IS THIS LOGIC I'm still fuming over this because it's so stupid
SO STUPID
so yeah needless to say I slid down the popularity poll in her book haha she prefers my cousin over me cos that cousin is more patient and also people seem to only remember her good parts and ignore the fact that her temper is actually somewhat like mine
I guess it's cos I talk more hahahaha


I digress.
I guess I can't speak for the parents and their parenting skills but I sincerely hope that they get a hold on it and either A. instill some discipline, or B. give birth to another one
Nothing toughens up kids like a little sibling rivalry lol
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Remember my previous sem break obsession over Jaejoong and #db5k


every day... and night....................(with you)


It all started with Jungkook's cover of Lost Stars which brought my heart to its knees



it's so beautiful ;___; anyway
I've already been introduced to BTS last year but I didn't really obsess over them because I was just getting into EXO (I'm sorry kimkai) and I only recognise Rap Monster cos his face resembles a squashed fish HAHAHAH sorry sorry

I'm not going into detail of my obsession right now except omfg they're so much better at variety than EXO idk maybe cos they get to film their own vlogs so it's much more interactive
Maybe SM doesn't allow their stars to film vlogs but then again didn't SuJu did it before back in the day when they had atrocious hairstyles LOL I had a brief SUJU moment where I watched all #eunhae videos
And their dancing is also *O*


and tbh they're not really all that good looking as compared to the superhuman Adonises that SM produces but they're really charming!

I had a reason to write this blog post.



yesterday I watched the prologue of I NEED U and at first I was blown away by the beautiful cinematography and the colours and their clothes
and then I read the comments and apparently there's a story behind the prologue (which is probably why there is a prologue in the first place...lol) and how its linked to the MV of I NEED U and ;___;
the plotline is beautiful
though now that I think about it it's quite simple but yeah THE CINEMATOGRAPHY PEOPLE
Lizzie Anderson 3 weeks ago
+Madeleine Martinez I think the storyline of this video is that after V committed murder, he called Jin because he needed someone to talk to and all their other friends are dead. Jin at the time is in this fake reality which causes him to hallucinate and think that nothing happened (his friends didn't die and V didn't commit murder) V is reminiscing while Jin is hallucinating. His subconscious however is aware and is sending him little signals like whenever V climbs on top of something the hallucinations tell him to get down before he gets hurt, also I think little things like Jungkook blowing out Suga's lighter and other things like the members waking j-hope up (who passed out in the mv) I think that's his subconscious telling him that even though the other members couldn't save each other, he can try and save V. I think V figures out that Jin isn't able to accept any of it right now so he jumps and dies and after Jin sees V jump with his own eyes he can't deny it any longer
Show less
 · 7 
Lizzie Anderson 3 weeks ago
+Madeleine Martinez And we see him accept (his friends death and the fact that V committed murder in the MV which is why we see it in the mv and he's in a mental hospital putting down 6 petals for his 6 dead friends. I also think that when rapmon wrote we need to survive on the mirror in the prologue and the fact that we see a blooming flower on Jin heart in the mv means that they do survive in his heart
 · 5 


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So I've joined this year's PAM students' works exhibition at One Utama cos there's soft skill points the experience is good jkjk it genuinely sounded fun and hey why not right AND I REALLY WANT TO WIN I REALLY WANT TO WIN I REALLY WANT TO WIN

This is for the benefit of Genie, of whom I've wronged and batalkan outing when in the end I went anyway hahahaha I know secretly you also malas nak pergi cos so far away but yeah I still feel bad cos we didn't see each other for one year + dah hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa


This year's theme is FAB:nation and initially we thought it meant the creation and rise of a nation cos no definition was given during registration lol wtf right we have to guess on our own. After that we asked for the definition again (after registration.........lol.) and decided to focus on the culture of making and traditional arts


The guys worked in the workshop for the rebar structure. Apparently welding is ~so fun~ lol you're not supposed to look directly into the sparks or you'll get blinded cos it's so HD 



These are my juniors from Studio 1 who are pretty awesome and funny and so hardworking I want to cry good quality work also and they're so responsive and responsible and even though they won't see this thank you guys TT__TT 


The two on the left are my lecturers (there's another one but let's not talk about him lol he was forced to join anyway lol ok ok. stop.) the middle one is so funny he's so weird HAHAHA


Here he was bending the shelves back to position and it actually stayed there wtf sorcery 


We praised him for being so ~strong~ so his mood UP HAHAHAHAHAH 



This is the most chill guy in studio whom we pushed all the detailed work to cos his work quality is very good HAHAHA I feel bad sorry but this is what happens when you're talented give you 10000 likes


draw, cut, improvise on detail work, reinforcements with wire, drilling....anything also can! Not for sale sorry he has a very cute gf I'm their supporter 


The dudes who work on the light boxes that will be put in between layers of our exhibit 


This is the supporting structure that the guys made so cool right our lecturer was so proud haha


This is after turning on the lights...it's so beautiful I want to cry again TT___TT


The girl looking at the camera is in the process of becoming ezhen 2,0 
I sincerely hope for her sake that it doesn't happen hahahaha 


We look like we're discussing something very important kan macam organising some sort of espionage hahahaha sebenarnya just redoing the duty roster 


WRAPPING WAS SO FUNNY we were going quite slow THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THE PACE QUICKENED LIKE WOAH THERE AHHAHAHA WHAT FACTORY
Featuring kasut baru bling bling hahaaha


Here are the guys moving the structure up the lorry. Not easy okay it weighs a ton. 
It was then when we realized our studio's guys are much bigger than our junior's LOL ~hou man ah~


This is us in One Utama's loading bay it was a boring experience


This guy broke the model lololol it was kinda funny cos he's sort of a destructing machine AND HE TOTALLY SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF MY STUDIO MATES he's also extremely hairy omg I've never seen such masses of leg hair on a Chinese guy


This is the exhibition area. It was 11pm at night haha the black thing is Taylor's and next to them is UM's entry


It was at this moment when we realised the cardboard wouldn't fit because it's bigger than the rebar. So we had to dissemble the wiring and screw them separately 


UTAR's black sea


This is an entry from a college whose name may or may not be synonymous with town- my friend said it looks like those ice crushers used for ABC HAHAHAHA SO MEAN please don't sue me for defamation


Can you spot ours hahahahaha 


This college damn cool they made a wire hand. But didn't get a lot of visitors cos nasib malangnya their booth was in a corner lol




THAT TIGER IS MY BABY TT____TT I LOVE IT SO MUCH IT'S A BIT IRRATIONAL BUT I CAN'T IT'S SO BEAUTIFOOOOORRRRLLL


But have to admit this side is nicer because it's more romantic and there's a clearer focus haha 


This is the day after installation and it is a defining moment for me BECAUSE I TALKED TO ANG MOH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


This is Lionel from Studio 3 and he was quite a hit especially amongst TARUC and the Malay crowd cos he mashed up a Chinese song with Hallelujah and a Malay song
I don't know what he sang specifically because I'm a noob


This is dinner with 24 people....of which my lecturer paid for TT___TT thank you miss


Ending the post with a photo of me and the girl I scold the most in class HAHAHAHA sorry la sorry. Not really but yeah you know wan la

This is a very long blog post Ng Su Jean and I only did it for yooooooooooooooouuuuuu
Photos by Violet Fu

Anyway, judging today went swimmingly so we're damn gan jeong now because the results will be announced tomorrow at 4pm 
Pray hard we win so our department will get recognized by the management as not "just part of the engineering department" lol 
I'll rant another time
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