*sees SJxCC lovey dovey selfie*


my baby all grown up dah mama approves


totally unrelated but Genie just listen

I'm not sure my dread to go to class is fuelled by my laziness or my passionate dislike for the new campus
Not only is it located in a residential area that's basically only accessible via bus or your own car, the entire building is riddled with problems. The lift is slow and small, the stairs are steep as hell; who needs a gym when your class is on the sixth floor?!
There's an average of 10 steps per flight, and three flights for the first three floors, two for the rest. The only good thing we get out of this is a firm-ass butt.


but nothing can beat how much I hate my new studio.
UTAR basically discriminates the Architecture department cos we're new and part of the minority. We're literally the ghetto of UTAR society.
Apparently, because the number of intakes per semester is not stable, UTAR decided that we didn't deserve solid walls between studios.
Do you know how hard it is to concentrate in class when the studio next to yours is so fucking noisy!? I ALREADY HAVE ISSUES WITH FOCUSING NOW YOU ADD IN SCREAMING HYENAS

I think the lecturers think I'm not interested in their class, reality is I can't hear what the fuck they're saying because it's so fucking noisy. And to add oil to the fire, my lecturers are realllyyyyyy long winded it's so frustrating can you just get to the bloody point so I can fume in peace

I'm sure Studio 4 are full of nice people. They are nice people. But can they keep it down during class hours COS SOME OF US NEED TO ACTUALLY LISTEN IN CLASS COS THE LECTURERS GIVE FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS AND I NEED TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING BECAUSE YOU CANNOT RELY ON ANYONE TO RELAY THE CORRECT INFORMATION
For fuck's sake. I really hope they let us have bloody walls soon.

Second driving lesson today! (exp +5000000000000000) 

1. "LOL are you drunk" - when I was trying to steer the car to go on the centre of the road purely for my own satisfaction 
2. "slowwww doooowwwnnn" - when I was going on 60km/h and it felt fine tbh but apparently not if I want to pass haha
3. "Did you forget the handbrake" - the numerous times I forgot to release the hand brake WHY DO WE NEED TO PULL THE HANDBRAKE WHEN WE STOP AT A JUNCTION JDKLAVSJIFSNAVUIEP MY BRAIN CANNOT MULTI TASK LIKE THIS 

I'm in an agreeable mood today. The mother is sick so we're all home bound today! She'd probably wake up later and insist we go get that stupid drink of the devil's pee from that herbal place

Anyway
Here marks the second-ish (?) month of my braces and so far, it's made a gap between my front teeth cos there's a hole to fill
Every time I sense ulcers, I drink lots of water in panic
When I got my wires tightened, it wasn't the horrible sensation my friends went through. Sometimes I think maybe cos my dentist is taking things slow and everyone wants their braces to come off within a year so their dentist makes them extra tight so it's faster


Now I'm bored
Sometimes I wish I was a bit cooler
And the LRT is just outside my doorstep so everything is easier

I also feel very sorry for all my Mutiara friends, because I'm a horrible person who can't be bothered to take the bus, even if it means taking the bus to meet some very cool people
Y'all cooooooool

So I'm still alive and well and functioning (somewhat)


I'm only blogging now to make myself feel better about updating this thing even though I basically spam everyone who ever reads my blog anyway with random updates of my life
BUT HERE
I can have pure guiltless rants about how much I'm obsessed with Sprinkleofglitter's vlogs with Jack Howard

While Jack (of Jacksgap) is having an identity crisis, Dan is assuming the couch position, I resorted to watching other British Youtubers to quench my thirst for an accent.


THEY'RE SO CUTE AJFKSNDVIJKWNVUJGIHNRAG


On to other notes! I had an epiphany last night that I'm only nice out of guilt.
Sure it feels good to do something nice to people but MOST OF THE TIME, I'm only nice to you because I feel bad if I don't. I don't know whether or not it's a good thing, but at least my guilt conscience is in the right place hahahahaaaaaaaaa

I'm also brushing up on my conversational English now because omg I have spoken minimal English last semester (thank GOD for bananas) and OK it's not all that bad cos now my conversational Chinese isn't so cacat anymore but the other day I was out with Verinia and I found myself speaking more smoothly in Chinese wtf this is a problem and I will rectify it.

Smooth goodbyes aren't my thing so enjoy a gif file I found online:


Dan is my spirit animal. I don't daydream about being married to him because I don't think I can spend the rest of my life with someone who's too alike. I'd prefer to observe from afar and pick up on his vocabulary and style of speech because it's amazing.

Amazingphil.

*bad puns are life*

Sometimes I feel like I do too much on my own
In these moments, I really want to just disappear and see if people can survive on their own
And then, I think maybe I'm being too conceited

But why is it that almost every time I do something, I'm alone?
Why is it that other people can get help without even asking?
Is it because people assume that I can,
or do people just not like to help me?

And after I finish doing something, I hardly ever get a simple thank you
I don't need lavish ceremonial bouts of thankfulness,
but does it hurt to say thank you?!
Why is it that some people only feel grateful for the "cute ones"
Am I ugly?! Is that it?!
Is that why I have to beg for people to notice?

And sometimes,
sometimes, when I help people do something,
outsiders would either think someone else did it
or I did something horribly wrong

I'm just 19.
I'm still learning.
At least I want to learn.
At least I took the initiative.
Cut me some slack.

It's not like I purposely go out and ask for trouble,
but can you, even if I'm wrong, say it nicely?

It's a sad world,
at least for now.

Final presentation for design was last Friday, and after spending almost the entire week's worth of brain juice to figure out how to make a boat, and about 24 hours abusing my arms to cut kraft board, I AM FREE. I was so happy that it's all done I was already high before my turn came.

Who cares that my model is the ugliest thing in the entire class right?? AT LEAST MY DESIGN WAS APPROVED OF! My idol lecturer liked it as well