I'm reading a book called Dear Enemy by Jean Webster and the protagonist is so relate-able!

"-and also, no matter what the doctor wants, so positive and dictatorial is his manner that just out of self respect one must take the other side. When he states that the world is round, I instantly assert it to be triangular"

I can relate to this so well because my brother is exactly like the doctor, with his condescending airs and his stubborn nature. His stupid know-it-all attitude that makes it so difficult to agree with his words.

"I have just been holding an interview with a woman who wants to take a baby home to surprise her husband. I had a hard time convincing her that, since he is to support the child, it might be a delicate attention to consult him about its adoption. She argued stubbornly that it was none of his business, seeing that the onerous work of washing and dressing and training would fall upon her. I am really beginning to feel sorry for men. Some of them seem to have very few rights."

idk maybe it's not as funny to you as it is to me. But I like the tone of this book, and she's really witty and has a way with words that just pulls at my funny bone.

Having friends from different groups, with different interests and different personalities, and with each you interact a little differently to get along
Ever want to stop shaping yourself to fit into someone's hole?
Ever felt like you don't really belong, and there won't be one single person who can understand all sides of you?
It's like having a split personality, and you've pulled apart too long to remember who you used to be and what you used to really like
But everybody needs somebody, and if no one likes you, who's your somebody? So sometimes trying to fit in isn't as bad as psychologist wannabes want you to believe

1. Why do some clinics have doors, and others don't? Is it to keep the air conditioning in? Or because door knobs harbor so much germs? Or because some clinics can't afford doors? Or to look more welcoming? Someone answer, please.
2. 
   
   Isn't this lovely? It's one of the very very few MVs where they all have normal hairstyles :')
   Petition to make GD go back to this hairstyle!
3. Why is my entire being so asymmetrical (also, why can I never spell asymmetrical correctly?? WHEN WILL I STOP SPELLING IT ASSYMETRICAL) ?
   From my hair to my toes, nothing's balanced wtf not even the curve of my legs are the same! MY HAIR IS HALF CURLY HALF STRAIGHT, HALF THIN HALF COARSE. ONE SIDE OF MY JAW IS MORE CURVED THAN THE OTHER. ONE BUTT SAGS MORE THAN THE OTHER AND THE LIST GOES ON.
   Have I really been living, leaning on one side more than the other? IS THAT WHY.
4. I have a flu going on I can't think at the moment this is too much effort

1. I'm 20 ;__;
   
   
   
2. It doesn't feel any different, except I have to get used to telling people I'm 20 now
3. Ugh ugh ugh ugh 
4. I don't want to grow up I don't want to get a job I don't want to leave this comfortable lifestyle to one that's a constant battle between taxes and horrible bosses
5. I don't want to stop taking naps in the afternoon 
6. but I can't cos semester 2 starts in two weeks
7. TWO WEEKS.
8. Next sem's site is in Cameron Highlands whoop whoop
9. STRAWBERRIES
10. I'm still young at heart.
11. Ugh ugh ugh ugh

To the people who comment on the way I look:

1. Yesterday was my last presentation for Studio 3

I write this before I begin (ugh) my report assignments (why are there so many?!?)

I've been the de facto group editor ever since group report assignments existed. I'm only ever not the group editor when (a) there's someone better and more of a control freak than I thank god, or (b) I lack the knowledge and expertise on said area.

People seem to think I actually enjoy editing??? I DON'T. I HATE IT. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT. But I can't not be editor because I've been let down one too many times, by people who simply are too lazy and can't be bothered to read everything and just copy paste everything into one document. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT.

1. People seem to forget that you too, have a lot of other assignments to attend to. So sometimes you get disgusting excuses from them that they were too busy doing some other assignment. Bitch, like I'm so free right
   It's the same thing with being the person who writes the notes on the board when the teacher is absent/lazy and you have to submit said notes on the same day as well. And no one remembers that you basically wasted half the period writing for other people. 
2. Some people are nocturnal and only start to work in the late evenings, and tend to send you their parts at 4 fucking am, even after you specifically asked for it before 12am 
3. People think your brain functions 100% 24/7, and they just have to push a laptop to your face and you'll make wonders happen.
4. When you're not the group editor, and you see the final report someone else has compiled..................................... god.
5. Some people only make sense in their mind, and only 10% of their parts make sense to you. So you spend more time deciphering what the fuck they mean.
6. Attitude problems. God. People think you have all the time in the world, or editing takes 10 minutes only (these are the people who only copy paste everything into one file with confidence that you've done well, just because).  So when you send the file back, they send you their same horrible part with an attitude attached.
   
   
7. When citing references is compulsary, and some ass-wipes can't be bothered to find out how to cite properly. And they're also ~too lazy~ to redo when you send it back. You fucking cunts.
8. PEOPLE WHO DON'T READ THE FUCKING ASSIGNMENT BRIEF AND SEND YOU SOMETHING OFF-TOPIC. READ. THE. FUCKING. BRIEF. PLEASE. 

I have a lot of things to get off my chest.

1. People who just aren't there when you feel shitty are the people you don't really need in your life. Unfortunately, most of the time these are the same people you have the most fun around with. But god, when I feel down in the dumps I won't go near these people. 
2. That being said, I'm thankful to have friends who tried to make me see the light 
3. I was so done with my studio master, but this time I'm really slowly starting to get irritated with my tutor, and for various reasons.
   We always complain about how the studio master is really restrictive and only truly accepts the forms he likes, and the tutor always makes fun about how we ~*prostitute*~ ourselves to fit into his ideals, BUT HE DOES THE SAME GOD DAMN THING. All he likes are understated things and ~*flat roofs*~ and he keeps reinstating his own reinterpretation and sorry lah if you don't understand him the first time he's gonna blow a gasket and starts going all "I'm starting to get irritated" -_- god sorry lah I don't get you and omg he keeps jumping into conclusions and EVERYONE WHO CONSULTS HIM ENDS UP WITH THE SAME COMMENTS AND THE SAME SUGGESTIONS SO WHAT IS THE BLOODY DIFFERENCE. At the end of the day, the studio would just be filled with two different styles.
   And he knows we're struggling to keep up with our studio master's stupid ideals but does he do anything to help us?? NOOOOOO. He just keeps laughing at us and getting irritated and swearing BUT DOES THAT HELP!??!?!?! DOES IT?!?!?!?!?
4. Stupid architects, who think they know everything. 
5. Like, isn't my interpretation important in my design?!?!?! WHY WON'T ANYONE LISTEN TO WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY!??!! THEY JUST SIT DOWN AND TELL YOU WHAT THEY WOULD DO AND BLAH BLAH BLAH 
6. "You're not listening!!!" -__- I am. BUT ARE YOU!?!??!
7. Maybe I'm just feeling emotional because I got my first bad crit from him last Friday but god it's just over a stupid curved roof. He says it's too massive like HELLO HAVE YOU SEEN MY PEERS?!?!?!! MINE PALES IN COMPARISON???? It's not even that high up!?!?!? IT'S JUST 5 BLOODY METRES??????? OTHER PEOPLE HAVE THEIRS 18M UP!!!!!!!
8. Just because it's not a fucking flat roof doesn't make it a fucking bad design.
9. And yeah, yeah, site context blahblahblah BUT IT'S A BLOODY DEAD TOWN. WE HAVE AN EXCUSE TO INTRODUCE SOMETHING CRAZY!!!
10. -_- 

"I know you have other subjects to do, and it's week 9 now which means a lot of submissions for you all, this is when the real Architorture will begin.
Don't forget that your studio design is 6 credit hours, so one grade change will make or break you"

*angrily asks why the studio is empty and assigns more bloody work*

Yes yes it's 6 credit hours BUT THE OTHER SUBJECTS AREN'T ZERO CREDIT HOURS WE NEED TO WORK ON THEM TOO YOU FREAK.

I can't say that I can't wait for this design studio to be over with because I don't even know if I'll pass or not. No, this isn't me being over-dramatic. This is some real shit right here where my marks are amongst the lowest in the entire class, where it was never in before and this scares me.

Because what if it's not the lecturer's problem, but me??? Maybe I'm just not creative enough for this industry to go beyond studio 3, maybe I'm not putting enough thought into it, maybe I'm just not meant for Architecture


My stress management is not helped by my design lecturer who enjoys popping into Whatsapp asking if ~*anyone's in studio*~ every single fucking day INCLUDING WEEKENDS AND HOLIDAYS like oh my god sir LET US BE FREE LET US BE FREE LET US BE FREEE

I can't do anything outside of campus without this lingering weight on my back asking me DID YOU FINISH THIS WHY ARE YOU SO FREE WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO WEEK14WEEK14WEEK14 OTHER SUBJECTS SITE VISITS GROUP ASSIGNMENTS EDITING MUSEUM OH SHIT NO RESEARCH WORK WEEK14WEEK14WEEK14 

I'm not even safe at home anymore that's how bad it is.
I haven't had a good weekend in almost a month. Oh sure, I went to a concert. Whereby halfway through my lecturer decided to remind us (yet again) to get our site model done by Tuesday and to submit the sectional drawing by Monday (quality work expected!)

Oh and just ten minutes ago we get a message from our studiomate saying "we can start the building model now", which basically means "get it done by Tuesday too"

I CAN'T FUNCTION UNDER THIS UNCERTAINTY.
WHY THE FUCK CAN'T HE MAKE UP HIS MIND ON A FLOW AND JUST FUCKING LET US KNOW BEFORE WE GO HOME WHY THE FUCK CAN'T HE DO THAT

We're not even safe on Facebook where he's active as well.

I FEEL SO CONSTRICTED BY HIS PREDETERMINED SCHEDULE THAT I'M NOT FULLY AWARE OF YET.

But with all things holy and good please let me pass, please let me graduate with my studiomates JUST LET ME OUT OF THIS DAMN COURSE.

Whenever I get sufficiently happy, and I can just roll around and think life's good, I look at my phone and..

This entire week has been a roller coaster of frustration for my emotional stability I can't even-

I hate that two subjects involve acting like what is the fucking point of this? Why do we need to publicly humiliate ourselves to act out what we can verbally express anyway!?!? IS THIS ARCHITECTURE OR AN ACTING ACADEMY GDI why does this lecturer enjoy making us do shit that doesn't matter in the end WHY DO WE GET GRADED ON HOW WELL WE ACT INSTEAD OF WHAT WE WANT TO CONVEY WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS STRUCTURE.

He also mentioned something about Key Performance Indicators and he raised some examples about his own, that when he received our student feedback someone said about his obvious favoritism. Well it's all me. I'm very glad HOD passed the message along.

my design tutor is funny but god he can be so sarcastic lol ignore that and focus on his message and you'll be fine. Except when he talks to you he tends to stare at you too long and repeats what he's saying cos he thinks you didn't get it lol it's creepy in a very hamsap way

When I get home I expect to fully relax. Instead I get my mother waking me up from my naps just to shower or look at more cheongsams I am so fucking sick of looking at cheongsams you will not understand it

her side of the family got into their heads to take a full family photo cos my Taiwanese relatives are coming back for CNY as well so it's a ~big thing~ and also to take a (and quite possibly last, hopefully not but we have to be real here) photo with my grandmother

so my cousin proposed that we all have a theme. The shit started from there lol I'm not sure which one I prefer, the rainbow catastrophe or the whole cheongsam shit.

I understand the importance of having a theme so it looks more cohesive on print but gdi is this all they care for? Bloody aesthetics!? And when I raise questions about it people just shut me down -_- it doesn't help that everyone's-favourite cousin proposed the whole thing in the first place

this is the same cousin who won't give up her seat for my mother or willingly help her own mother carry her shopping bags even though it's fucking basic manners. Not to brag or look for attention but gdi I may scold my family for their inefficient antics but I am the one who will open doors for them carry their bags for them stand up so they can sit down I am the one who doesn't expect any gifts in return BUT DOES ANYONE EVER NOTICE THIS?! NO. THEY REMEMBER MY BAD TEMPER THEY REMEMBER HOW I'M NOT BABY FRIENDLY. Instead the cousin who could really grow some manners and balls gets showered with all the gifts this is my 命运 in that household. I don't want material things I just want to be noticed for the good stuff that I do too.

So recently this drama has been floating around Facebook and Twitter; the whole kids sitting on the ~*cold hard ground*~ debate

My immediate response was that parents nowadays are getting really ridiculous and finding a million faults in schools that are otherwise not problematic to begin with. I mean, is the ground they're sitting on wet? (Don't think so)
Besides, it builds character doesn't it? It's not like they're being forced into child labour, it's just making them sit on the exposed ground!!

Then I went back to my primary school days and I realised that I had it better than them lol maybe it's cos I'm from a Chinese school and most of the parents there are all generous and/or rich?? I don't know but I remember during perhimpunan, we sat on tiled floors, because:

1. there's an actual dedicated space for perhimpunan
2. We actually use said space
3. I don't know how schools work but I suppose we had more money to pay for electricity??

YOU SEE?? GOT TV SUMMORE. Where did the money come from srsly

the canteen where one day we found a frog in the longkang AND THE CANTEEN UNCLE JUST KILLED IT?!?!?!?! e__e

they changed the ceiling lights since I've left, and installed better doors =_=

I used to jaga this spot; it was a very sad time for me lol five minute rehats T__T I hated it